if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize