life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
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Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
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just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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