Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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