omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I touched a dick in church today
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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