Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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