Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
40s are totally the cure
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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