lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was CRYING into my vagina
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize