hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
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The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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