When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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