She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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