Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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