Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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