dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
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I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm always down for nudity.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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