3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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