Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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