Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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