Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize