I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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