And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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