You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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