yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize