found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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