planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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