I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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