winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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