Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize