I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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