last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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