so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is Oprah even human
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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