I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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