you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
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Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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