you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize