Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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