at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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