I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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