the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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