why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize