ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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