Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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