My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
