are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
