i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize