im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize