# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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