I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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