Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
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while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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