We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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