dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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