I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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