if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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