My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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